You Know

You know
I'm almost 20
and half my life
i have been afraid
insecure and terrible

Bitterness
has creep silently
enveloping
my heart

Hurt and pain
has tore me down
to my soul
and made a mark

All i ever wanted
was to have my own
fairytale life
family and friends

But my life is my story
I should write it myself
and not let others
not even my loved ones

write it for me

Lets see if this year
would be a good year
if my 20th
would be the year i gain confidence

Lets see if this year
i am able to live life to the fullest
and make things happen
maybe even give love

another chance

a dear friend said to me:

Before you find someone
you must always be a complete self
and not a half
trying to find another half

that some friend also said that:

No one can cure it but yourself

You know
'it' to me
is the bitterness and emptiness
that i have
in my heart

You know
if i took them away
just maybe
just maybe

I'll have my own
sweet little fairytale
after all
=)