i don't get it

I don't get it..

Why can't I stay in KL, by myself a few days.. i know it is pointless to bring up 'its not fair' or 'im 20, and i have always tried to listen to you'

But, seriously, i feel that i am going to be a year older, and i am still not satisfied, yes, i am not.. i am grateful for everything, but, really.. i want to be able to go out, without feeling guilty, i want to be able to be free.. to do whatever i want..

It is not too much to ask.. i know it is dangerous, and i will most probably get a hell of a scolding for blogging about my feelings, but i don't know how else will i be able to tell you, without getting an ear full for being ungrateful, or that i am being self pitiful and what not..

when you say i go out with my friends a lot and spend time with them, and brighten up when i am with them. well have you ever thought that, like a kid, his parents won't let him eat ice cream, but when he gets to have an ice cream, he cheers up immediately. to me, i think i am feeling the same way.

my friends come down to kuantan all the time cause i can't go anywhere with them. and this summer, i spend most of my time with family, only occasionally going out for movies with friends at night.. all my holidays i spend with the family.

i wanted to have some me time, and have fun with my friends for awhile.. i just ask for a few days.. of not worrying about what time i'll be back, or if i will get a scolding or being judged. i just want some time of not having to think about a hundred things, and still after making a decision, get an ear full

im posting this with consequences..