un-a-peace

i have refrained myself from blogging til after my last paper, but this is how i feel, all mixed up, i'm tired, i sleep though, i do, but in my sleep its never at peace, and when i wake up, my head is heavy and my shoulders weak, what is wrong, everything is.

the air i breathe
is stained with thundering emotions
the heart that beats
races with fear
the life i live
is it even mine
i question
when will it all end
i scream in silence
i a wait a prince
i don't want them knights
and a King saves me
He reaches down and sends me strength for the heavens
i thank Him
but when will the storm
in my earthly being begin to be at peace
everything i do
everything i feel
it all doesn't make sense
the realm of my reality
and that of the unknown dream state
are intertwined
nothing makes sense
even what i see with my own eyes
i do not see with my heart
i am blind in a darkness
with only the light from heaven above
like a speck in the black dark heart
when will egos fall
and love conquer all
when will selfishness disappear
and love be revealed
when will the earthquakes within me stop
when will my being be placed back into the realm of the real
for everything is scattered
everything makes no sense
i live life in a daze
with my physical being like a robot that responds
but inside is an empty shell
but a ghostly being in a body
for among other beings
time still moves on
will this plea
be but the start of another torturous fight to breathe
or will it open up
and be the foundation of my reality.